


the purgatory of men

by PuzzledHats



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2017-12-31 15:39:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuzzledHats/pseuds/PuzzledHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver and Felicity find themselves stranded on Lian Yu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My beta refuses to beta this for me, convinced she'll see spoilers since she hasn't gotten around to watching the show yet. As the world's worst speller, I apologize now for anything I or spellcheck missed!

The server room hummed, as Felicity broke the encryption on the computer before her. Oliver shifted slightly behind her, drawing her attention for a half a second. His hood was up, his stance telling her he was in full ‘vigilante’ mode. She glanced around the room, wondering if they had anything to fear. Server after servers were stacked in neat little racks. Their intel told them security came by every half hour, they had plenty of time. But she knew Oliver, knew he wouldn’t relax until they were safe back in the foundry. The tablet before her binged, drawing her attention back to the matter at hand; she had found the files.  
  
“Yes, got it!” She whispered in triumph, knowing shouting it was on Oliver Queen’s List of Things We Don’t Do in the Field.  
  
“How much longer,” came his gravely voice from behind her.  
  
“Not much,” she said, focused on the screen before her. She had just hit ‘enter’ on planting a small tracking bug in the system, when something stung Felicity in the side of her neck, causing her to slap at it.  
  
Instinctively she turned to Oliver, who was already looking at her with a questioning gaze. His eyes had just settled on her neck, where her hand had pulled away; when he too slapped his neck. She could barely hear his grunt as he pulled his hand away, a small dart clasped between his fingers.  
  
She wanted to ask what was happening, but her mouth refused to move. Oliver’s eyes were wide, his hands reaching out to grab her, because she was falling. Then there was darkness.  
  
  
  
  
BEEP-BEEP-pause-BEEP  
  
BEEP-BEEP-pause-BEEP  
  
Felicity extended a heavy arm to her side in search of the offending alarm clock. Her hand connected with something moist, almost paper like.  
  
BEEP-BEEP-pause-BEEP  
  
She tried to open her eyes, but they refused to obey her. Even the hand that had extended to turn off the alarm refused to return to her body. Her mind was sluggish as she continued to issue commands her body wasn’t following.  
  
BEEP-BEEP-pause-BEEP  
  
Beside her something rustled, someone groaned. Distant panic began to well up inside of her, but still her brain couldn’t connect with her body. Then she felt a hand on her jaw.  
  
“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice had an instantaneous affect, the panic dissipating as if it had never been there. Her eyes opened just enough to catch Oliver’s blue eyes, filled with concern before falling shut again, the effort to keep them open too much. She heard him say her name again, as his hands moved over her body, looking for injuries.  
  
BEEP-BEEP-pause-BEEP  
  
Oliver sighed above her, leaving her side as he muttered, “Where is that beeping coming from?”  
  
She thought she heard birds calling and could just make out the smell of freshly ground dirt. She was trying to put it all together when a modified voice filled her ears, stopping the beeping noise mid beep.  
  
 **“Mr. Queen, what a pleasant surprise to find you behind the hood. I’ve greatly admired your work for sometime now. But it has become clear to me that your new ‘kill no one’ method is failing the city. Someone needs to make the hard call, someone needs to step in where you have failed. You might recognize your surroundings. I figured you survived five years on Lian Yu, what is another couple of months? I’m sorry I had to take your tech savvy assistant as well, but it was obvious she knew your secrets and I couldn’t have her interfering with my work. Good luck, Mr. Queen. I look foreword to working with you in future.”**  
  
She heard Oliver growl in frustration, could smell something burning. The message must have self-destructed, she thought as her mind slowly put together what she had heard. They had been sent to Lian Yu…Lian Yu, Oliver’s purgatory. Then her world went black once again.  
  
  
  
The next time she woke, she could smell a fire burning, could feel its blazing heat. Her eye lids were less heavy, she managed to open them all the way lifting her shoulders slightly.  
  
“Careful,” Oliver said, moving from the shadows to support her with an arm around her back. “They must have given us the same dosage. That’s why you’re having more trouble getting it through your system.”  
  
Felicity let out an incoherent babble, her tongue felt swollen, her mouth dry. He was already holding a canteen in front of her, tipping it up so sweet, clear water flowed into her mouth. She drank it down greedily, not caring that it was gushing over her chin, soaking her clothes, just eager for the relief.  
  
Once she had her fill of water, she allowed herself to relax in his arms, looking up at his stubbled jaw, wondering if her brain would ever work the same way again. His gaze met hers as he placed the water bottle down, his now free hand reaching up to cup her cheek.  
  
“We’ll be okay,” he said, his voice earnest, his eyes concerned. “I promised I would keep you safe and I will.”  
  
She wanted to nod back at him, tell him she trusted him, to tell him she knew they would be alright; instead her eye lids became too heavy, closing of their own accord. She fell into another dreamless sleep wondering if he would hold her like that all night.


	2. Chapter 2

The smell of morning dew, birds calling and a distant monkey chatting met Felicity as her eyes opened without any effort. She almost sighed, her limbs seemed to be back under her control, a feeling which she would never take for granted again. She snuggled in deeper to the blanket pushing herself back against the wall of heat behind her.  
  
 _Wall of heat?_ Her brain questioned, causing her to turn her head enough to see Oliver’s broad shoulders and back behind her.  
  
And then she did sigh, in exasperation because this was not how she pictured waking up next to Oliver Queen. Not that she often pictured waking up next to Oliver Queen, but if she _was_ going to picture waking up next to Oliver Queen it would not be with his back to her. No, it would be with his incredibly muscular arms wrapped around her, maybe his legs entangled with hers and his nose grazing her neck, his arms pulling her closer-  
  
Oliver moved behind her, abruptly cutting off Felicity’s wandering thoughts. She stood up, knowing some distance would help to clear her brain. That’s when she noticed he had given her what must be their only blanket. She almost rolled her eyes at his chivalry, but opted for drinking the water bottle she spotted on the other side of the hollowed out plane. Her glasses sat next to the water and she silently thanked her unknown kidnappers for not leaving her blind.  
  
She grabbed the water bottle and her glasses, walking out into the small clearing around what remained of the plane, stretching as she went. The surrounding foliage was gorgeous, she hadn’t remembered appreciating it the last time she was here, too concerned with getting Oliver back to Starling City.  
  
“How are you feeling?” Oliver asked from behind her, causing her to jump. She turned toward him, worry written in every line on his face, as he put a hand on her shoulder, “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” she laughed, moving out of his grasp, “You just scared me. Don’t sneak up on a girl in the middle of the jungle.”  
  
He gave her one of his small, half smiles as if smiling against his own better judgment.  
  
“I’m sorry about all this,” he said, scanning the jungle around him.  
  
“Don’t be,” she said, “I knew what I was getting into when I signed up.”  
  
“You expected to be marooned on a deserted island?” He asked, his face dead pan, only his raised eyebrow indicating his amusement.  
  
She titled her head, raising her eyebrows back at him causing him to smile again, but then what he had said caught up with her, “Is it deserted? The island, I mean, are we alone?”  
  
Felicity knew very little about what had happened in the five years he had been here, but had pieced together enough to know that he hadn’t always been the only human there.  
  
“As far as I can tell, we’re alone,” he said, once again scanning the jungle. “But there is one other place I need to check. I’ll do that this afternoon when we move camp.”  
  
“Move camp?” she asked, looking back the plane. “I thought this was where you lived?”  
  
He shook his head, “Not the whole time.”  
  
Oliver offered up no other explanation and Felicity knew better than to press him.  
  
“How long before Diggle finds us?” She asked.  
  
Oliver once again shook his head, “I don’t know. He’ll probably try to take care of whatever trouble our mystery captor is getting up to in Starling City. Who knows how long that could take.”  
  
“Right,” Felicity said, having not expected that answer. Although it made sense, Diggle would want to protect the city before traveling half way across the world to look for them. “Think he’ll know to look here?”  
  
“Dig’s a smart guy,” Oliver stated. “He’ll find us.  
  
They ate some stale peanut free granola bars Oliver had left from when he had come after Tommy’s death, before packing up whatever they might need, which included a bow he kept hidden there, before setting out to their new camp. They had been hiking for a little over an hour, when Felicity voiced the concern she had been feeling.  
  
“The other spot you need to check,” she began, causing Oliver to stop in front of her and turn around, “What if someone else is there? Will we be in danger? ”  
  
“My rescue put this island on the map,” he said, turning to restart their hike through the jungle before continuing, “It’s no longer the safest place for illegal activity. I’m fairly certain the island is empty.”  
  
“Except for us.”  
  
“Except for us,” he repeated and she knew he was smiling, even if she couldn’t see his face.  
  
They didn’t reach their destination for another two hours, Oliver stopping on the way to hunt and check traps he must have set while she was passed out. By the time they made it to the cave Oliver intended for them to stay in, he had two rabbits and bird.  
  
The cave was spacious, there were signs of previous inhabitants everywhere she looked: a small fire pit underneath an opening in the cave ceiling that would act as a chimney, cooking utensils sat on a large rock and in the far corner she could make out what appeared to be bedding. Oliver moved to the lone chest in the cave, pulling out clothes. He handed them to her.  
  
“These will be much warmer,” he said, gesturing toward her jeans and cardigan. “The jungle can get cold at night. You change. I’ll go collect some firewood.”  
  
She looked down at the pile of clothes in her arms noticing a rain jacket, a thick wool sweater and a pair of cargo pants. She said the first thing that came to her mind, “These are women’s clothes.”  
  
Oliver paused mid-step at the mouth of the foliage covered cave entrance. He turned slowly, giving her one nod of his head, his expression apprehensive.  
  
“Sara’s?” She asked, he shook his head, “Whose?”  
  
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, telling her everything she needed to know. There had been a woman, not Sarah and she had been something more to him. Everything about his stance telling her whoever the mystery woman was, she had meant a great deal to him.  
  
“Is she,” Felicity paused, looking down at the clothes in her arms, “still alive?”  
  
“No.” He was gone by the time she looked up.  
  
Felicity sighed into the empty cave, a feeling of melancholy, that had nothing to do with being stranded on an island, settled over her. She found herself once again berating her pointless crush on Oliver Queen. Even though she knew, after over two and a half years on his team, that it was far more than a crush. She shied away from the word, the real word for how she felt, even in her thoughts because dwelling on it was useless.  
  
When Felicity had finally come to terms with the fact that her feelings for Oliver were far from platonic, she had known there was no future there. For starters, he was Oliver Queen. Good looking, intelligent, loyal and a billionaire on top of that. He had his pick of the women that threw themselves his way.  
  
But the major road block, the one she was pretty sure no one would get over, was Laurel Lance. Laurel, who was smart, beautiful and would always hold a piece of Oliver’s soul. Felicity knew very little about love, but she did know you never fully get over your first.  
  
Sometimes on very rare occasions, Felicity felt like maybe Oliver’s feelings for her might be a little more than friendly. She would catch the way his eyes would widen when he saw her in a formal dress, hair and makeup done perfectly while attending a gala for a mission. Or sometimes she would catch the look of pride that would cross his face when someone would praise her work. And sometimes, in her darkest, deepest thoughts, she allowed herself to believe that maybe she could one day mean something more.  
  
But as she looked down at the clothes that had once been the mysterious island woman’s, she felt the last of her hope fade. Here was yet another example of a female that had wormed their way deep into Oliver’s heart, never to be expelled again. Something Felicity, in over two years, hadn’t managed to do. She knew, because when Oliver loved, he loved deeply and completely, having learned from his time on the island that life was too short to love any other way.  
  
Felicity just wished she didn’t agree with him. Then maybe she could get over him.  
  
She changed, trying to rally her spirits. The clothes were warm, fairly clean and much more practical. With nothing left do, she waited. Her watch told her, he had been gone a little over an hour when he returned, firewood heaped in his arms.  
  
“I checked the other location,” he said, not looking at her as he stacked wood against the wall. “We’re alone.”  
  
He turned then, his eyes shuttering slightly when he saw the clothes she wore. He stared a moment, before moving past it, pulling something from a backpack she hadn’t noticed.  
  
“I found this,” he said, handing her a walkie-talkie and a laptop that looked at least five years old. “Not sure what you can do with it. But I figured if anyone could find it useful it would be you.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said, smiling up at him in appreciation, hoping the smile also conveyed her apology about the death of yet another loved one. He smiled back, giving her a slight nod, before turning to start a fire.  
  
Felicity immediately got to work, a vague idea of being able to piggy back onto any passing ships navigation and radio feeds with the laptop, boosted with the power from the walkie-talkie. Every once in a while she would glance up, watching over her screen as Oliver went about silently preparing a meal for them.  
  
“I can’t remember the last time a man cooked for me,” she said idly, as he slowly turned a spit with two rabbits on it over the fire. Then what she has said caught up with her, “Not that you’re a man cooking dinner for me. I mean, you are a man who is cooking dinner. But it’s more like a survival dinner. Not a ‘Hey honey, let me cook you dinner’ kind of dinner. Not that you would ever call me ‘honey’-“  
  
She cut herself off as he gave her an all too knowing eyebrow raise. She nodded and returned to the work before her. She wondered if she would every stop saying inappropriate things around him. It had been over two years, so she was beginning to doubt it. At least he was used to it by now, able to shut her up with a single eyebrow raise.  
  
“Got it!” She shouted, before shaking her head, “I do always yell that, why do I always do that?”  
  
“I like it,” Oliver said, moving to sit by her side so he could see what she had achieved. “I always know when you’ve found something without having to ask.”  
  
“Well as long as I have your permission,” she said sarcastically, pulling up a program and turning on the walkie-talkie. It cackled to life, but more importantly so did the screen before her. “There is a ship within three miles of the island. I boosted the walkie-talkie signal and modified it so we should be able to use their on board satellite feed.”  
  
Slowly but surely the internet came alive before them.  
  
“Nice,” Oliver muttered at her side.  
  
“I’m going to send an email to Diggle,” she said, moving as quickly as the slow internet connection would allow her. “But then we will have to shut it down, not enough battery power.”  
  
Oliver watched over his shoulders, providing coordinates for the island in the rare case that Diggle had forgotten, as she also made sure he knew they were both safe. With the email sent, Felicity let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, shutting down the electronics to conserve power.  
  
“Nice work,” Oliver said, something about his tone causing her to turn and look at him. His gaze was intent, dropping to her mouth for half a second, before returning to her eyes. She stared back, wondering if it was the fire that was making her blood heat up or his nearness. The fire cracked loudly, a log falling, breaking the moment. Oliver was already standing attending to the fire, dishing them up some dinner, before Felicity was fully able to comprehend what had happened.  
  
“Shado,” he said as he handed her a plate of rabbit, sitting down across from her on the other side of the fire.  
  
She looked around, at the shadows lining the cave, wondering what she was supposed to see.  
  
“No,” he said, a slight tone of laughter to his voice. “The girl. The girl that I knew here, her name was Shado.”  
  
Felicity nodded, examining his face. He looked much more relaxed, more himself. She concentrated on the food before her, mumbling “I’m sorry for your loss.”  
  
“She taught me how to survive, how to fight,” he said, his voice lost in memory. “I would never have made it off this island without her.”  
  
“Well it was a good thing you had her,” Felicity said, not looking at him. Laurel had been his first love, Shado had been the one to teach him how to survive. She wondered forlornly how an IT girl could ever compete with that.  
  
“I’ve been very lucky in my companions on this island,” he said, his voice suddenly becoming focused, causing her to look up as he continued, “Very lucky.”  
  
He eyes bore into hers from across the fire, pinning her down. There was something there, something honest and primal; Felicity knew she couldn’t move even if she wanted to. She wasn’t sure how long they held the stare, before he slowly shook his head, returning to his food. She thought she heard him mutter “Very lucky” again.


	3. Chapter 3

The following day dawned, Oliver and Felicity sleeping back-to-back in the small bed she knew he must have once shared with Shado. Oliver had insisted she sleep at his back, not only for warmth but also protection, placing himself between her and the entrance.  
  
Deciding against indulging her desires to push herself closer into his warmth, she got up exiting the cave to find the closest bush to squat behind. Oliver was already up, reheating left over rabbit from the night before.  
  
He stood up after he finished eating, stretching, “I think I’ll go patrol.”  
  
“Patrol what?” Felicity asked, the worry building quickly, “I thought we were alone?”  
  
“We are,” he said, the conviction of his voice reassuring.  
  
“Then why do you need to patrol?”  
  
He looked around, shrugging, “Nothing else to do.”  
  
Felicity glanced around the cave too. There really wasn’t anything to do, but wait for a rescue. She couldn’t risk using the laptop and running out of battery.  
  
“How did you occupy your time before?” She asked, before her eye caught on the make shift bed for two. She could feel the blush on her cheeks rise as he followed her eyes to the bed, “I mean, other than sexy fun times. Not that that isn’t nice that you were able to enjoy some sexy fun times while stuck here. Because you know, at least you got to have some fun but-“  
  
“Felicity,” Oliver sighed bemused, stopping her mid sentence. She wondered how many times she had said ‘sexy fun times’ before he cut her off.  
  
When she finally got the courage to look him in the eye, he answered her question, “When we weren’t hunting, we were training. And when we weren’t training, we were fighting for our lives.”  
  
She nodded, glad he had ignored her outburst for the millionth time. She watched as he gathered up his gear, an idea springing to mind, shouting it out “Teach me!”  
  
He paused, she wondered if she imagined him glancing at the bed or the slight blush on his cheeks, before he saw she was gesturing at the bow in his hand.  
  
“You and Diggle are always saying I need more self defense lessons,” she plowed on, hoping to convince him.  
  
He gave her an assessing look, before nodding with one of his half smiles, “Alright, come on.”  
  
She jumped up, clapping excitedly before she noticed the grin on his face. Stopping, she straightened her clothes, hoping to also straighten her dignity.  
  
“You’re lucky I don’t have you hitting water,” he said as she followed him from the cave.  
  
“You can’t hit water,” Felicity responded automatically.  
  
“I assure you,” he said, throwing a smirk over his shoulder, “You can.”  
  
“Alright,” Felicity said, acquiescing, “Why would I need to do that?”  
  
“Because,” Oliver said, leading her into a clearing, turning to look at her, “you have to be strong to pull back a bow. But given that Dig has been making you lift weights, I’m sure you’re strong enough.”  
  
“Well I don’t know how ‘hitting water’ would make me stronger,” she said, pulling up short in front of him, putting her arm up to flex before his eyes, “but look at these guns. I don’t need to hit any water.”  
  
After the Dollmaker incident, both Dig and Oliver had insisted she step up her training. Dig adding weekly weight training to her schedule. She would never be ‘muscle builder’ big, but she might give Michelle Obama some competition.  
  
Oliver smiled at her antics, reaching out to squeeze one bicep, “Very impressive.”  
  
“Don’t mock me, Mr. Vigilante,” she said, smiling. “Where do we start?”  
  
He rolled his eyes before helping her get into position, talking while he did over the finer points of archery, giving her every mechanical tool she would need before placing the bow in her hands. She took to notching the arrow and holding the bow steady, fairly well. It was aiming that was the problem. Ten failed attempts at hitting the tree later, she wanted to give up.  
  
“Maybe I should stick to the electronics,” she said, as her eleventh arrow zinged past the tree, “not sure archery is in my future.”  
  
“It takes time,” he smiled down at her, “and practice. You’ll get there.”  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be giving me Mr. Miyagi like advice or lessons?” She asked, notching another arrow. “You know, ‘wax on, wax off.’ That sort of thing?”  
  
“Like hitting water? That sort of thing,” he said, unable to keep the amusement from his voice. She released the arrow, missing the tree again, giving him her own eye roll as they went to retrieve the arrows.  
  
Once back in front of the target, quiver full behind them, he put a hand on her elbow, lowering it slightly.  
  
“Okay,” he said, his voice low almost a whisper, “Here is your Mr. Miyagi advice.”  
  
She gulped, looking at him from the corner of her eye, “About time.”  
  
“In order to hit your target,” he ignored her, keeping his voice low, soothing, “you have to steady your anchor point.”  
  
One of his fingers, tapped lightly on her chest, slightly above where her heart was; his touch startled her, causing her to release the arrow. It sailed to the left of the tree.  
  
“Sorry,” she apologized, not able to look at him as she notched another arrow. He moved behind her then, not touching but close enough she could feel the heat radiating from him.  
  
“See the target,” he said, pointing toward the tree. “Give into your senses. Feel the wind. Hear the bowstring tighten.”  
  
And she did, his voice hypnotizing her, his presence calming her; she breathed deep, focusing on the tree before her.  
  
“And let go,” he whispered as she exhaled.  
  
She did, hitting the specific knot in the tree Oliver had pointed out.  
  
Felicity screamed dropping the bow as she ran forward,  “Did you see that? I did it!” She gestured wildly toward the arrow in the tree, “Me. I did that!”  
  
She turned to see Oliver standing in the same spot, a full smile on his face. She ran straight at him, jumping at the last second. He caught he easily, as they both laughed together. He slowly lowered her, not letting go once her feet were firmly on the ground.  
  
“You did it,” he was smiling down at her, his eyes warm with pride. His hand tightened at her waist as she leaned back a little further to see him fully.  
  
“I did,” she said gleefully. He nodded, his smile bemused before his eyes dropped to her lips. Neither of them were smiling then, both intent on the other; until Felicity muttered, her eyes on his lips, “Guess your Mr. Miyagi tricks worked.”  
  
The spell broke, he stepped back his eyes glancing toward the target. The moment, whatever it had been, was over. Felicity wondered if she should applaud or berate herself for ruining it.    
  
“I’m proud of you,” he said, giving her a quick, tight smile, not meeting her eyes. “Probably enough practice for the day.”  
  
The walk back to the cave was silent. Oliver said something about hunting, before leaving her there. He didn’t return until the sun was low in the sky, he carried three birds with him that had already been plucked.  
  
“Hungry?” He asked as he lifted up his catch to show her. She nodded smiling, taking her queues from him and pretending everything was normal.  
  
In order to prevent herself from dwelling on the man before her, she grabbed the laptop to check if Diggle had written back. He had, she read the email aloud to Oliver. Diggle explained that an unknown vigilante, going by the name Brother Blood, had taken control of The Glades, calling for martial law. Anyone accused of breaking any crime, was immediately put to death. The police were doing all they could to stop Brother Blood, but hadn’t made much progress yet. Using Felicity’s programs, Diggle was able to trace the location of the man’s organization to three different buildings, giving the information over to the recently reinstated Detective Lance in the hopes they could use it to catch the guy. Diggle concluded by saying he was scheduled to leave that night with the Queen’s jet to rescue them and he hoped they were still safe.  
  
Felicity looked up when she finished, Oliver stood by the fire looking down at her.  
  
“I wonder how he got your mother to agree to give him the jet,” Felicity wondered out loud, knowing they had tried to use it the first time they came to retrieve Oliver, but had found it impossible.  
  
“Brother Blood?” Oliver asked, ignoring her question. “You don’t think it could be Sebastian Blood, do you?”  
  
“Sebastian Blood? Isn’t that a little too on the nose? Wouldn’t the SCPD have already figured that out?”  
  
“I suppose,” Oliver nodded, lost in thought.  
  
“At least it looks like we will be going home tomorrow,” Felicity said, hopefully.  
  
Oliver continued to nod, his eyes moving to hers, still lost in thought.  
  
That night, as they settled into the bed back-to-back, Felicity voiced something that had been  bothering her, “I thought you had no happy memories here. But you must have had some with Shado.”  
  
She felt him still behind her and wondered if he would answer her. Then he moved, rolling to his back to stare at the ceiling of the cave. She followed his example, trying to make out the rock formations above them.  
  
“We fought for survival everyday,” he said quietly. “Any good moments we had were dampened by the ever present fear of death. We kept each other sane. We kept each other safe. There were no happy moments, only slightly less terrifying ones.”  
  
“How can you be sure she is dead? I mean, you thought Sara was dead.”  
  
“I know,” he said, leaving no room for argument.  
  
“But maybe-“  
  
“I buried her myself, Felicity,” he cut her off.  
  
“Oh,” was all she could think to say, lost in her own thoughts. “Who would you have chosen if she lived?”  
  
“Chosen?” He asked.  
  
“Yeah, I mean, between Laurel and Shado,” she said, ignoring the fact that it really wasn’t any of her business. “If Shado had lived, who would you have chosen when you got off the island.”  
  
He was silent again for a while, Felicity almost thought he had fallen asleep. Then he whispered, “Neither.”  
  
“Not neither,” Felicity said, turning on her side to see the profile of his face. “You loved both of them. Or _love_ both of them.”  
  
“What Shado and I had was here,” he said, his arm gesturing to the ground around them. “It was this island. We both knew we would never work outside this environment. We both had unfinished business. What we had was real and essential, but it was never meant to last.”  
  
“What about Laurel? You still loved her when you got back from the island.”  
  
Oliver rolled his head to the side to look at her briefly before returning to stare straight ahead, “I was in love with the idea of Laurel. I had built her up, made our relationship holy because it was all I had to hold on to at one point. But I quickly learned, Laurel and I both did, that the bond we have is more of a friendship. I’ll always lover her. She was my first love, but it will never be anything more.”  
  
“Well, maybe someday,” Felicity began, not knowing why she was encouraging him toward Laurel, but he cut her off.  
  
“No, Felicity. It will never happen again,” his voice was deeper, more gravely. “If there is one thing I’ve learned from this island, is that I was not cut out to love someone else. Not like that, not romantically.”  
  
“Bullshit,” Felicity said without thinking. “What about McKenna? Or even Helena?”  
  
“My point exactly,” Oliver scoffed.  “Look how those relationships turned out. I break every female I grow attached too. They always come away worse than they were before.”  
  
“Oliver-“  
  
“No,” he cut her off, clearly having made up his mind long ago. “It’s better not to get involved. That way I can’t hurt anyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I don't really think Shado it dead. In fact I'm kind of looking foreword to her showing up in Starling City one of these days. But for the purpose of this story, she's dead :(


	4. Chapter 4

Two days passed, before Oliver and Felicity both admitted something must have gone wrong, Diggle should have been there by now.  Felicity reluctantly fired up the laptop, knowing they could run out of battery any moment.  
  
An email from Diggle was waiting for them, explaining that Brother Blood had taken control of the Starling City Airport, grounding all planes. It had taken the SCDP over 24-hours to get it back, finally capturing the man, only to discover it was Sebastian Blood after all. According to Diggle’s email, he was sending it from the plane and would be there as soon as possible.  
  
“You were right about Blood,” Felicity said, as she closed down the laptop. “How did you know? He seemed like a good enough guy. You know, when he wasn’t berating you to the press.”  
  
“I had a hunch,” Oliver said, sounding angry. “I should have known he wasn’t to be trusted.”  
  
“Who could have predicted this?” She said with a shrug, standing up. “More practice today?”  
  
For the last two days, Oliver had been teaching her all he knew of archery. She could hit the target three out of five times now when standing completely still. The day before Oliver had tried to teach her how to roll and shoot. It had not gone well.  
  
“Or we could enjoy our last day free from civilization,” he said.  
  
“And how do you propose we do that?” Felicity asked, already smiling.  
  
“Don’t suppose you’d be down for some skinny dipping?” His face tried, but failed to hide his amusement.  
  
Felicity ignored the blush in her cheeks, tilting her head in her best ‘yeah right, Oliver’ face.  
  
“Okay, no skinny dipping,” he laughed. “How about I show you the island?”  
  
“Haven’t I already seen the island?”  
  
“Not like this, you haven’t.”  
  
The hike took over half the day, but by the time they reached the top of the mountain Felicity knew it had been worth it. The vista before her was breathtaking. She could see the whole island, just by turning in one spot. The dark blue of the Pacific Ocean stretching out into the horizon on all sides.  
  
“I know this place was literally hell on earth for you,” Felicity said, turning to look at him. “But come on, this is gorgeous.”  
  
“Yeah,” he said, fighting the smile on his face as he always did when he found her amusing. “It is beautiful.”  
  
They sat down overlooking a bay, eating berries Oliver had collected along the way. He pointed out any landmarks he knew, showing her the abandoned military facility where Diggle would land the plane.  
  
“You know,” Felicity said, her eyes lost on the scenery. “As much as I miss technology, it has been kind of nice to be away.”  
  
“Kind of nice to know someone else can save Starling City too,” Oliver said beside her.  
  
“Thinking about hanging up your hood?” She asked.  
  
“Do you think I should?” He asked her in earnest, causing her to turn and look at him. His eyes held hers, waiting for her answer.  
  
“Do you want to?”  
  
“Somedays I do, somedays I don’t.”  
  
“What about today?”  
  
“Today,” he said, a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth, “Today I do.”  
  
“Enjoying your impromptu vacation time?” She asked, nudging him with her shoulder.  
  
“Actually,” he said, looking back over the bay. “I have been. I can’t remember the last time I was able to enjoy a leisurely hike.”  
  
“You mean one where your life wasn’t on the line?” She asked.  
  
“Yeah,” he said, nodding before his voice grew serious, “But I was given a second chance at life and sometimes I wonder if I’m living it to the fullest.”  
  
“You’ve saved the city more times than I can count,” Felicity reassured him. “I’d say your life has purpose.”  
  
“But sometimes I wonder if it has meaning,” he almost whispered it, his eyes unfocused on the endless ocean before them. “I have to give up so much to don the hood. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.”  
  
“It’s worth it,” Felicity said with conviction.  
  
“Is it?” He asked, turning to look at her. “Putting my life and everyone I love in danger?”  
  
“You protect everyone you love,” she said.  
  
“Not everyone,” he muttered, before standing. “Looks like we have a storm coming in,” he said, pointing to the dark clouds that had risen behind them.  
  
The rain set in about an hour before they made it to the cave, leaving them both cold and shivering. Oliver worked on getting the fire started, while throwing instructions over his shoulder at Felicity.  
  
“You have to get out of those wet clothes,” he said. “Wrap up in one of the blankets and come sit by the fire.”  
  
Felicity did as she was told, knowing he knew more about survival than her. He kept his back to her, not moving until she came and sat beside him, huddled in a blanket. Once the fire was blazing, he went off into one of the shadows, coming back to sit next to her, huddled in his own blanket next to her.  
  
“Thanks for showing me the island today,” she said.  
  
“You won’t be thanking me if you get pneumonia,” he snorted, as outside thunder clapped loudly, the illumination of lightening visible through the cave entrance. “I have a bad feeling this might interfere with Diggle’s rescue mission.”  
  
“Seriously?” Felicty asked, not sure if she should feel happy about extra alone time with Oliver or sad that she would have to go longer without a proper toilet.  
  
“Seriously,” Oliver confirmed. “And here I’ve been dreaming of a hot shower all day.”  
  
“Me too,” Felicity said, before rushing to explain further. “I mean, obviously not a shower with you. A shower with me, by myself, alone in my apartment.”  
  
He was smiling when she glanced his way. They sat there for a while in companionable silence, letting the fire heat them.  
  
“Why didn’t things work with you and Barry?” Oliver asked, not looking at her. The question surprised her. Barry had been a ‘no go zone’ for them. Each agreeing separately it was better if he stayed out of her personal life.  
  
“I don’t know,” she lied. Of course she knew. Barry had been great. Barry had been kind. But Barry had noticed what Felicity refused to acknowledge: that she was in love with Oliver.  
  
“He was the first guy you’ve dated since you started working for me,” Oliver said, keeping his eyes on the fire.  
  
He was wrong of course, she had dated plenty but had kept it from him and Diggle. Not because they couldn’t be trusted with the information, but she just couldn’t handle Oliver pulling a big brother move. The way she felt about Oliver was so far from brotherly that she knew she couldn’t handle it if he suddenly started treating her like Thea.  
  
“Just haven’t found someone who would understand my crazy lifestyle,” she stated. Which was another lie, Oliver would understand her life perfectly. But Oliver wasn’t interested.  
  
He sighed next to her, finally turning to look at her, “I want you to be happy. I don’t want my life decisions to interfere with your private life any longer.”  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
“I’m saying,” he paused, searching for the right words. “When we get back, maybe you should return to the IT department.”  
  
“No,” she said, refusing to look at him. “I made my decision long ago and you don’t get too decide when I stop.”  
  
“Felicity-“  
  
“No, Oliver!” She said, turning to pin him with her fiercest stare, “I’m not leaving you. You would never leave me if I needed you.  And I would never leave you, because you need me.”  
  
“Felicity-“  
  
“And don’t tell me you don’t need me Oliver Queen,” she said, jabbing his shoulder for emphasis so he would look at her, “Because you need me.”  
  
“I know,” he said, leaving Felicity to wonder when they had gotten so close, less than a foot separating their faces. “I do need you.”  
  
Then he was leaning in or maybe she was leaning in too, their lips meeting in the middle. It was soft, tender and it wasn’t enough. Felicity reached out her hand, carding it through his hair, pulling him in closer, opening her mouth to deepen the kiss.  
  
Oliver moaned and Felicity knew it was the single greatest sound she had ever heard.  
  
Feeling confident, she straddled him pushing the blanket from his shoulders, eliciting another moan from him as her fingers explored his skin. As he pushed the blanket from her shoulders, she distantly became aware that they were both only in their underwear, but not caring when his mouth moved to suck on her earlobe.  
  
She wanted nothing between them, reaching behind her unclasping her bra letting it fall down her arms while he continued to kiss down her neck. Realizing what she had done, he stopped abruptly pulling back to stare at her breasts. She watched as his hand that had been at her waist moved agonizingly slowly upward before cupping her, his thumb running over her already hard nipple.  
  
It was her turn to moan, having dreamed about this moment more times than she could count. Her moan got his attention his eyes meeting hers again, dazed in lust. Time froze for half a second, before he moved, pulling her back into a searing kiss, moving to lay her down on to their discarded blankets.  
  
“Oliver,” she sighed, as his mouth left hers in order to suck on one of her nipples. His other hand grabbed her ass before smoothing down her leg to her knee, spreading her legs wider to accommodate his hips. She let her hands explore him freely, cataloging every scar that marred his body. Then her hands reached his ass, roaming around to the front, dipping below the waistband to wrap her hand around his hard length. Felicity wanted to bathe in the gratification of knowing she had done this, she had made him feel this way.  
  
But before she could do anything, he was pulling away, his hand wrenching hers away from his body.  
  
“Felicity, we can’t,” he groaned and in the fading firelight it looked as if he truly regretted it.  
  
“Yes, we can,” she said desperately, reaching for him. This was her shot. Somewhere in the very back of her mind she knew he only wanted her because she was the only thing available. That without the island, this would never be happening. But she couldn’t bring herself to care.  She had wanted him for so long, maybe finally having him would purge him from her soul. Maybe she would leave this island no longer in love with a man who would never love her back.  
  
Felicity’s mind made up, she reached for him again, pulling him into another kiss, even better than the last. She thought she had convinced him, thought she could feel his resolve melt but then her hand moved down his chest and he was pulling away again.  
  
“Felicity,” he ground out, sitting back on his heels. “We don’t have any protection.”  
  
She was unable to keep the frustrated groan from escaping as she threw her head back against the hard ground, closing her eyes. He had a point, one even she couldn't get around. Normally she was on the pill, but being on the island meant she hadn’t taken it in days making it ineffective. Not to mention the fact that as much as she loved Oliver, there was really no way of knowing where he had been or when he had last been tested.  
  
“It’s probably for the best, this,” she opened her eyes as he paused, seeing he was gesturing between them, “It isn’t a good idea. This island and what it does to people, it’s dangerous. We don’t want to do something we’ll regret later.”  
  
She groaned again, rolling to her side in search of her bra, a blanket, or possibly a hole to climb into. What she found was his shirt, mostly dry from being in front of the fire. She put it on without a backward glance, crawling into the bed they shared, wondering if she would ever be able to look him in the eye again.

  
  
  
Oliver was gone when she awoke the next morning. He had left her the last of the nut free granola bars and full bottle of water. Felicity dressed slowly, not wanting to face the day. She was just sitting down to use the last of the laptop battery to check on Diggle’s progress when the unmistakable sound of plane roared over head.  
  
She ran from the cave, crashing head long into a shirtless Oliver, who caught her before either of them fell.  
  
“Dig’s here,” he said, as she kept her eyes on his shoulder.  
  
“I heard,” she said, pulling back from his grasp, needing more space.  
  
“Felicity,” he began, but she cut him off, not wanting to hear his apology for the night before, not wanting to have him confirm he regretted it.  
  
“It was nothing,” she said, still unable to meet his eye. “We’re two healthy adults alone on an island together. It was bound to happen.”  
  
And before he could come up with any response she’d rather not hear, she turned to go back into the cave to retrieve whatever belongings she had.  
  
Their walk to the plane was silent, neither speaking until they cleared the jungle onto the landing strip. The Queen’s private plane was parked before them, Diggle waiting at the base of the stairs. They all had smiles on their faces as they approached, Diggle reaching out to pull Felicity into a bear hug.  
  
“You alright?” he asked when he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders to examine her. She nodded, the betrayal of tears forming in her eyes. Noticing them, Diggle looked over her shoulder at Oliver, “You guys okay?”  
  
Unable to answer without breaking down, Felicity moved past him, up the stairs of the jet. If Oliver responded, she didn’t hear what he had to say.  
  
They landed in Starling City with no fanfare, Diggle having told everyone that Oliver had had an emergency business meeting in Japan and Felicity had, of course, gone with him. Felicity sat in the back of the plane the whole way feigning sleep, over hearing snippets of conversation between Diggle and Oliver.  
  
Oliver refused to answer any questions about what had happened on the island, instead wanting every last detail about what had gone on in their absence. Diggle spent most of the flight filling in Oliver on all he knew about Brother Blood.  
  
It was raining as they exited the plane, a lone car waiting to take them home. Felicity and Oliver sat in the backseat, not talking until Diggle pulled up in front of her apartment building. She thanked Diggle, exiting out into the rain before Oliver could say anything. She slipped into the foyer of her apartment building, not realizing Oliver had followed her in until the doorman’s eyes lit up in recognition looking over her shoulder. She tried to ignore him, pushing a little more forcefully on the elevator button than she meant to.  
  
“I’m safe now. I don’t need you to see me to my door,” she said over his shoulder, hoping it would work. He followed her anyway, not speaking until he closed her apartment door behind him.  
  
“Felicity, we have to talk,” he pleaded.  
  
“No, Oliver,” she said, putting on her most authoritative voice, “We do not.”  
  
“What happened last night,” he began, ignoring her.  
  
“I get it,” she cut him off, her voice rising, “You regret what happened last night. There was a fire, we were practically naked and things just happen. I understand. It will never happen again.”  
  
He looked as if he had just been kicked in the stomach, his face surprised by her outburst.  
  
“That island took everything from me,” he said, quietly. “I can’t lose you too.”  
  
She slumped, losing all her energy, “You won’t.”  
  
“Promise?”  
  
Felicity hated him a little bit in that moment. Hated that they both knew her answer before she even uttered it. Hated that she was committing herself to a life of as member of his team, nothing more.  
  
“I promise.”


	5. Chapter 5

Felicity told herself everyday for three weeks that things were back to normal. Oliver fought crime, Diggle assisted him and Felicity used all the technology at her fingertips to help in the process. She acted like the perfect executive assistant; she got him coffee, checked his schedule and smiled at everyone who walked through the door.  
  
She refused to think about the island.  
  
She refused to think about the island when Oliver would nudge her shoulder while looking at her computer screen. Refused to think about the island, when he would stand behind her, silently watching her hone her archery skills. Refused to think about the island, when she walked into the club to find him in deep conversation with Laurel, ignoring the abrupt stop in their conversation when they saw her.  And especially refused to think about the island when the latest waitress hired at Verdant started throwing herself at Oliver every time she saw him.  
  
This was normal, this was fine. This was the epic friendship of Oliver Queen, billionaire/vigilante and his incorrigible sidekick, Felicity Smoak. Nothing more.  
  
“Felicity,” Oliver called, breaking her out of her trance. He stood next to her shirtless, having just finished working out, “Did you run the trace?”  
  
“The trace? Right, the trace,” Felicity rambled, her attention focusing back on the screens before her. “Yes, I was able to pinpoint it to the docks, maybe one of those huge shipping crates. I’ll send the signal to your phone now. You should be able to track it with that when you get closer.”  
  
“Don’t leave the foundry until we get back,” Oliver said, gesturing toward Diggle where he was assembling their supplies. “Blood has already kidnapped you once. He knows you work for me. It isn’t safe.”  
  
She nodded, having no intention of leaving without one of them for protection. Sebastian Blood had escaped from a top level security prison the day before. The only sign of him was a credit card he had under an alias that Felicity had been keeping tabs on. It was that intel that was sending them docks.  
  
Oliver paused mid turning to leave, looking back at her. His face looked pained, his mouth opened as if he was going to say something but thought better of it because he left without another word.  
  
For the next hour and half, Felicity listened as Diggle and Oliver fought through Blood’s men, only to discover Sebastian had already fled. She heard Oliver curse as Diggle confirmed that Blood had escaped.  
  
“Felicity, do you have anything?” Oliver asked with his ‘Hood’ voice.  
  
“No,” she said, scanning the screens before her. “Nothing else is turning up.”  
  
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” came a dark voice behind her and the cold edge of a knife against her throat.  
  
Felicity did not panic. Two years working closely with Oliver had put her in way more panic inducing situations than she ever knew possible. So she knew exactly how not to panic. But that didn’t stop her from incoherently babbling out anything that came to mind. Call it her coping mechanism, call it stupid, call it whatever; it didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t stop herself once she got started.  
  
“I mean, really,” Felicity stumbled on, ten consecutive minutes of talking later, “I work for a billionaire, who also happens to be a badass. You would think his own personal, secret lair would have a better security system. Right? I mean, I was expecting cutting edge, state of the art technology. All though, now that I think about it, I really should have looked into it better. Maybe this is as much my own fault as it is Oliver’s.”  
  
“Ms. Smoak,” ground out Sebastian Blood behind her, “Will you please shut up before I am forced to slit your throat?”  
  
“Um, yea, yes,” Felicity swallowed, “Yeah, I can do that.”  
  
Trying to focus on not speaking, Felicity began to do some calculations. Figuring Oliver would be there in no less than five minutes, ten max, so she just had to stay quiet that long. Oliver had heard Blood’s voice through the comm, he would come. He always came. There was really no reason to worry.  
  
The lights went out, leaving them in total darkness.  
  
“Let her go, Blood,” came the Hood’s voice from behind them. Blood spun her around cutting her slightly in the process.  
  
“None of your tricks, Oliver,” Blood said, “Turn the lights back on. Let’s talk about this like adults, like equals. After all, don’t we have the same goals in mind.”  
  
“Let her go. Then we talk,” came the Hood’s voice from above. Blood jerked back, lowering the knife a little in the process, his arm around Felicity’s waist loosening.  
  
“I have no quarrels with you, Oliver,” Blood shouted, his panic showing. “I left you alive on that island, didn’t I? I am not your enemy.”  
  
“You certainly look like the enemy,” came the Hood’s voice from in front of them.  
  
Then the Hood’s voice came from behind them, “Let her go, prove to me you’re not.”  
  
“I will kill you, Blood,” came the Hood’s voice to the left.  
  
Blood was turning in circles, dragging Felicity with him trying to pinpoint where Oliver was. Sensing her chance as Blood hauled her around again, Felicity stuck out her foot, tripping Blood causing his hold on her to slip. She didn’t think just ran, until she hit something, strong arms around her bracing her from falling.  
  
She almost screamed, but Oliver’s voice in her ear calmed her instantly, “It’s me. Stay here.”  
  
Then he was gone. She knew better than to ignore a direct order when he was in Hood mode. So she stood perfectly still, listening. There was shouting, grunting and suddenly the lights flickered on.  
  
Blood and Oliver were exchanging blows, each using whatever hand-to-hand combat training they knew agains the other. Felicity watched as Oliver punched Blood in the gut, before bringing his head down to his knee. Blood retaliated by grabbing Oliver around the middle with a growl, throwing both of them off balance. Oliver recovered first, attacking again, but Blood dodged it, instead grabbing Oliver’s arm, twisting it behind his back before his other arm came around Oliver’s neck, a knife held firmly in his hand.  
  
Oliver froze as he felt the knife, looking up at Felicity, his hood having fallen off sometime in the fight.  
  
“I don’t want to fight you,” Blood yelled into Oliver’s ear. “We could work together. We could be more. We could rule this city. Make it safe for everyone.”  
  
Felicity spotted Oliver’s bow at her feet, his rack of arrows a couple of feet to her left. She didn’t really think, just grabbed the bow, reaching out to notch an arrow before she realized what she was doing. Blood seemed to have forgotten she was there, ranting on and on about saving the city.  
  
“Let him go, Blood,” Felicity shouted, imitating Oliver’s Hood voice the best she could. She thought it was pretty weak, but both Blood and Oliver froze, heads whipping up to stare at her.  
  
“Forgive me if you don’t scare me, Ms. Smoak,” Blood laughed, “But I don’t think you’ll shoot. What if you miss and hit Oliver instead.”  
  
At his name, Felicity glanced at Oliver. His face was set on hers, his expression almost unreadable. But Felicity hadn’t spent almost all her waking hours with the man over the last two and half years for nothing. She saw the way his eyebrows raised just slightly, how his eyelids closed a fraction. It was his ‘I know you can do it, Felicity,” face.  
  
It was all she needed, her eyes focusing on Blood’s leering face over Oliver’s shoulder. She breathed deep, heard the bow string tighten, felt her center and then she released.  
  
The arrow hit his shoulder, a mere inch about Oliver’s. Blood howled in pain, while Oliver took advantage of the situation, disarming Blood and pinning him to the ground.  
  
“Felicity, handcuffs,” Oliver yelled, as he struggled with Blood. She dropped the bow, running to grab the cuffs from one the racks lining the wall. Diggle burst through the door, as Oliver finished handcuffing him, he held a syringe in his hand.  
  
“Sorry it took me so long,” Dig said, as he injected the syringe into Blood’s neck. Blood immediately passed out. “I’ll go find a place for the police to find him. Once they test his blood, they won’t believe anything he says about Oliver Queen’s secret hideout.”  
  
Oliver nodded at Diggle, as they both hauled Blood up, carrying him out the door together. Felicity sank into her chair as they left, the adrenaline wearing off.  She put her head in her hands, exhausted.  
  
“You could have died,” Oliver stood before her, having silently returned. She shrugged up at him, thinking about all the other times she had brushes with death. “You saved my life.”  
  
“Yeah, well,” she said, trying to keep her voice light, “I think I owed you one.”  
  
He didn’t return her smile, just stared. Then he lunged, pulling her up from the chair, bringing her crashing into his chest as his other hand slid around her neck, tilting her face upward as his mouth descended.  
  
The kiss was desperate and needy, his tongue battling with hers, both wanting dominance. He walked her backward until she felt the desk hit her thighs. His hands moved to her waist to lift her, her legs automatically wrapping around his hips, pulling him closer. She didn’t remember removing his hood, but couldn’t resist once again exploring the scars the jacket revealed. His hand slid under her skirt, his thumb tracing the lace of her underwear on her hip, before his fingers moved, digging in to her ass.  
  
She moaned, low in her throat.  
  
Abruptly he ended the kiss, resting his forehead on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily still holding onto each other. She expected him to pull away, to once again tell her it was a mistake. Instead he removed his hand from her skirt, only to wrap it around her back, his arms tightening, drawing her closer to his body as he curled around her. She followed suit, tightening her legs, throwing her arms around his neck, giving him the closest thing to a full body hug she could manage. He kept his head buried in her hair.  
  
Felicity felt his considerable strength surround her. Strength that had killed, fought and survived; but now he held her, as if it was the only thing it was good for. His muscled arms keeping her as close to his body as humanely possible while still being fully clothed. She felt him kiss the side of her head, knew he was just as lost in the embrace as she was.  
  
Too soon he released her, standing as her arms fell until only her hands grasped his shoulders, her legs slackened to bracket his. He reached a hand out to cup her cheek, his face pained, his voice low when he spoke.  
  
“Effective tomorrow you will no longer be employed by Queen Consolidated. You’ll receive six months severance and an excellent recommendation.”  
  
Felicity felt as if she had been hit with one of his arrows. There was a physical pain in her chest preventing her from moving, from saying anything; all she could do was stare back at Oliver’s resolute face.  
  
“You will no longer be welcome at Verdant and I never want to see you down here again,” he continued, his voice steady and sure. “Good bye, Felicity.”  
  
And then he left without a backward glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I owe a special thanks to Hero by Family of the Year, because this chapter was being a jerk and that (oddly fitting) song helped me work through it. The power of music, right? :)
> 
> More to come!


	6. Chapter 6

Felicity refused to look at the tabloid left on the table next to her, trying her hardest to ignore it. But she didn't succeed long, her eyes glancing over to see Oliver on the cover, a beautiful blond on his arm. The title read: Queen Still a Party Animal. Without thinking, she reached out, flipping the magazine over, returning her attention to the computer before her. The small coffee shop was bustling with people going to and from work, Felicity found herself enjoying the noise, not being alone.

"Felicity?"

Laurel Lance stood before her, a tentative smile on her face. Felicity smiled back, "Hi, Laurel. How are you?"

"I'm well, just getting my daily dose of caffeine," she said gesturing toward the cup of coffee in her hand. "Mind if I sit?"

Felicity did mind, not thinking she could handle talking to Laurel if she brought up Oliver, but instead found herself saying "Sure," pointing to the seat opposite her. Felicity closed the lid on the laptop, waiting for Laurel to talk.

"I heard you're no longer working for Queen Consolidated." Laurel said, smiling sadly.

That was putting it mildly. She had shown up the day after Oliver fired her, ready to yell at him until he changed his mind, only to find all of her things neatly boxed for her at the front desk, a security guard offering to take them to her car, making it clear that she was no longer welcome. Oliver had been ignoring all of her phone calls, text and emails. Even Diggle had been strangely silent, finally returning one of her calls to tell her he thought it was for the best, that she would be safe this way. That had been a week ago.

"Have you found another job yet?" Laurel asked, before continuing, "I don't mean to pry, just curious."

"Uh," Felicity began, looking down at her laptop where she had been reviewing three different job offers. "I have some offers. I'm thinking about becoming an independent contractor. Act as a consultant to big companies."

"Well from what Oliver says, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a job," Laurel said, encouragingly. Felicity nodded distracted.

"I think I'm going to go the consultant route," she said, focusing in on Laurel. "Travel the world, never stay in one place too long. Become a nomad."

"Won't you get lonely?" Laurel asked. Felicity shrugged. She was already lonely. "Have you talked to Ollie lately?"

Felicity shook her head, her eyes dropping to her hands in her lap.

"He doesn't smile any more," Laurel said, waiting until Felicity was looking at her again before continuing, "He didn't smile, not for a long time when he came back from the island. But then you started working for him and he started smiling. Not his 'I'm Oliver Queen' fake smile, but real genuine smiles."

"He smiles-" Felicity began, ready to defend Oliver for reasons unknown.

"No," Laurel cut her off, "He didn't, then did, now he doesn't any more. He stopped smiling completely about a week ago or maybe longer."

"I don't-" Felicity began again, looking for an exit, but Laurel didn't let her finish.

"I don't know what happened between you two. Or why one minute Oliver is saying you're the best thing that ever happened to him and the next you're no longer working for him. But I do know Oliver. He misses you and I'm pretty sure you miss him too."

"He fired me," Felicity said, because she had nothing else to say.

"Sometimes Oliver does stupid things to avoid dealing with his issues. Like take my sister on his yacht behind my back," Laurel said. "Don't let him get away with it. He's a good man, even if it is hard to see sometimes."

Laurel gave her one more sympathetic smile before leaving Felicity to her thoughts. She tried to think about all the times she had seen Oliver smile, too many to count. Then she tried think about all the times his genuine smile hadn't had anything to do with her. That was easier to count; a handful of times at Thea, a couple of times Diggle had made a joke and once when his mother had gotten out of prison.

Objectively, Felicity understood Oliver's decision. Knew that in his mind at least, he was doing what was best for her; keeping her safe by cutting her off. But that didn't make it hurt any less. Laurel had a point, Felicity realized, Oliver did go to extreme lengths to avoid dealing with issues and it was time to stop him.

Felicity had expected an upgrade to the security system at Verdant, but was surprised to find he had only changed the passcode. It took all of five minutes for her to break it. The lair was empty, everything exactly how she had left it, sending a pang of longing up her spine. She very studiously avoided looking at her desk where he had kissed her. Instead she stared at his racks of arrows, waiting.

"We're prepared this time," she could hear Oliver saying from the top of the stairs. "We'll get him."

"We're a man short, Oliver," Diggle said. "Without Felicity-"

"We'll be fine, Dig," Oliver cut him off, their voices growing closer as they made their way down the stairs, "We'll get him this time."

Felicity stood in the middle of the room, waiting for them to notice her. They both stopped short at the bottom of the stairs, clearly surprised to see her. Diggle looked relieved, but Oliver's face went from surprise to anger in about two seconds.

"I thought I made it clear," Oliver ground out, "You are no longer welcome here."

Diggle ignored Oliver, walking around him to give her a quick hug, "Good to see you. You find a new job yet?"

"Not yet," Felicity said, her eyes on Oliver. He had stalked over to his Hood outfit, keeping his back to them as he changed. Diggle looked between the two of them, concerned.

"I'll go bring the car around," he called to Oliver, giving Felicity a supportive smile before leaving them alone.

Standing in front of him, Felicity didn't know where to begin; all the various arguments she had constructed over the last week leaving her.

"Did you need something?" Oliver asked, turning as he smeared black paint around his eyes. His voice was hard, devoid of emotion. "We're kind of busy at the moment. Deadshot has reappeared."

"I heard," Felicity said. "I could help."

"I don't need your help."

"Yes," she said, her voice growing a little as her anger returned. "You do."

"I'll manage," he said, grabbing his quiver, dismissing her.

"You're better with me," she whispered. He stilled, his back to her.

"Yes," He said, sounding desperate. "But you're not better with me."

"Oliver-"

"I can't watch you die," Oliver shouted over her, turning to look at her. "I've watched too many people I love die and I won't do it again."

"Oliver-" she tried to interject, but he kept talking, ignoring her.

"I had to watch Sara die twice. Twice! I had to bury Shado with my own hands. I couldn't prevent McKenna from being injured. I couldn't protect her," his whole body was tense, his face raw with pain, "And Laurel, Felicity, I killed Laurel. I killed the Laurel that she used to be. I killed her soul."

She saw tears welling in his eyes, as he ran a hand over his face, trying to steady himself.

"I destroy everything I touch," he went on, his voice low trying to get her to see his side. "I can't destroy you too."

"Oliver," came Diggle's voice from behind them, neither having noticed his return. "If we don't leave now we'll miss our chance to get Deadshot."

Oliver continued to stare at Felicity. She watched as he slowly got his emotions under control before responding, "Coming."

And then he turned, walking out of her life again.

She wasn't sure how she got home, her head lost in thought. Over and over again she replayed their conversation in her head, thinking over all Laurel had said too. She sat in the dark processing the day before numbly opening her laptop to check the local news sites. It didn't take long for the news to catch up, each reporting a Hood sighting and then slowly the story broke; Deadshot had been killed. There were a few hazy videos of the Hood fighting Deadshot on the roof of a building downtown. Felicity winced as Deadshot used his gun to hit the Hood in the gut.

And then it clicked, all of it; the island, the kiss, being fired, their conversation that night. Felicity was in the car already driving before she even realized where she was going, pulling up to Queen mansion twenty minutes later. Belatedly Felicity realized it was well past midnight, wondering if anyone would be awake to let her in. Thea answered the door.

"Finally," she said in a huff. "When sending Laurel didn't help I was sure I would have to go."

"Excuse-" Felicity began, but Thea only waved her hands to stop her.

"He's in his room," she said, pointing the way, clearly done with the conversation.

Felicity silently padded through the mansion, steeling her nerves before slipping inside his room. Moonlight gave the room a faint silver glow, allowing her to just make out an Oliver size shape under the covers of the bed. She dropped her purse, slipping off her flats, leaving her jacket on the floor. Quietly she climbed into his bed, nestling beneath the covers until she found him. His back was to her, so she wrapped her arm around him, pressing her forehead between his should blades.

His hand clasped the arm she had wrapped around his body, turning slightly as he did it to look at his intruder.

"Felicity?" He asked his voice groggy from sleep. "What are you doing here?"

He turned to face her, laying on his side, his face looked exhausted, resigned.

"You would destroy me," she whispered.

"I know," he sighed.

"No, you don't," Felicity said, her voice growing a little louder. "If you push me away, if you cut me out, that would destroy me."

"You'll find someone else," he said, but his eyes were more alert, closely examining her face.

"No," Felicity said, shaking her head slightly, reaching out a hand to trace the tattoo on his chest, "You think if I stay with you I'll be destroyed. But I know, if you push me away, it will destroy me. So either way, I'm destroyed."

"Felicity," he whispered, but she heard it, heard the longing in it.

"If my destruction is as inevitable as you and I seem to think it is, then at least let us enjoy what time we have," she finally looked up from his chest, meeting his eyes. "You love me."

It wasn't a question. It was a fact that Felicity couldn't believe had taken her so long to see. She watched closely as he digested the information, watched as he prepared an argument in his head, then his hand reached out, running fingers through her hair. His eyes tracked his hand's progress, before returning to her face.

"I do," he whispered in confirmation, pulling her closer with the hand in her hair. "Which is why I don't think I could survive watching you die."

"Oliver," she said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "You of all people know that death is a part of life. Which is why we have to take every opportunity we get to live."

He had no response, his mouth opening as if to argue but shutting again quickly. She could see he was fighting with himself, struggling to find an argument he could hold on to. Then he sighed, resting his forehead against hers, his thumb stroking her cheek. She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him foreword, knowing she had won.

"Don't push me away again," she whispered against his lips.

"Never again," he said, his voice strong, his eyes boring into hers before closing the distance between them.

The kiss was slow, methodical. His tongue pushing into her mouth, while his shoulders pushed her down into the mattress. His hand was roaming around her back, her sides and she was too distracted to realize he was searching for the zipper of the dress. She pushed him back, maintaining eye contact as she undid the zipper on the side, before reaching down to pull off the dress. He grabbed it from her hands, tossing it over his shoulder as he pulled her closer with the other hand. He kissed her cheek, her jaw, moving down to kiss her neck, her collarbone.

There was nothing stopping them now, no excuses, so they took their time.

He seemed intent on memorizing her body; kissing each of her breasts, mapping them out with his hands before dipping his head to suck on one nipple until she whimpered. When he began to kiss down her stomach, his hands removing her underwear before settling between her thighs, Felicity nearly cried with anticipation.

"Condoms?" She asked with a sigh, sitting up on her elbows, glancing at the bedside table. She didn't see him move, his mouth suddenly on hers, kissing her thoroughly before pulling away with a smack. He grinned as his hand left her body to shuffle through the drawer turning on a bedside table in the process, pulling out a condom. She moved to grab it, fantasies of rolling a condom on Oliver Queen having been a frequent part of her daydreams.

"Patience," he smiled, pulling it out of her reach, distracting her from responding by kissing a trail from her neck to her stomach. He gently spread her thighs further, his eyes taking in all of her, a look of fascination on his face. "I've been dreaming about doing this since the island. No, I've been dreaming about doing this since I met you."

Felicity didn't have time to formulate a response, his head dropping quickly, licking up her center before beginning to suck on her most sensitive spots.

"Oliver," she screamed, unable to contain herself as he continued to work on her,. Her hands grabbed at the sheets, before one of them reached out to his head between her thighs, combing through his hair.

It was almost embarrassing, only taking him inserting one long finger to push her over the edge, screaming his name as she came. His mouth and hands worked on her until the last shot of pleasure had been wrung out. She lay there boneless, dazed as Oliver kissed his way up her stomach. He was grinning by the time he made it her face, looking down on her with a self satisfied smirk.

"I deserved that," Felicity said with a grin of her own as she watched the smile slip from his face in confusion. "After the hell you put me through the last week. That is just the beginning of payback."

He dipped his head giving her a quick kiss before pulling back to look at her, his face serious "I wanted to protect you. All I ever want is to keep you safe."

"I know, you noble idiot," she whispered, poking him the shoulder with a small smile. "But your 'protection' only ended up hurting me."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice earnest, the regret obvious, before he moved to give her another quick kiss. When he pulled back he was smiling. "It was pretty hellish here too. You should have heard the lecture I got from Thea when she heard what I'd done."

"You deserved it," she said with a small laugh, Thea's comment when she had let her in suddenly making sense.

"I did," he said, solemnly before his mouth was on her again, his hand tangling in her hair while his other hand skimmed along her thigh, pulling it up toward his hip. Taking the hint, Felicity wrapped her legs around his waist, could feel him still hard between their bodies. He kissed her long and slow, before pulling back to put on the condom.

"I wanted to do that," she huffed when he returned to her, his hand between them, positioning himself at her entrance.

"If I have any say in it," he groaned, pushing into her, causing her eyes to roll back, the pressure so utterly delightful, barely hearing him finish his thought, "There will be many opportunities in the future."

She could only nod her affirmation to his statement as he began to move inside of her; the man far better than any fantasy she had ever had. She had always known his incredible strength and discipline would translate to wonderful things in the the bedroom, but nothing could have prepared herself for the reality. His arms held himself above her, his hands slightly under her, gripping her shoulders, her nipples grazing his chest with every thrust; she felt cocooned, she felt safe, she felt amazing.

"Felicity," he moaned as she shifted her legs, changing the angle slightly. Removing one of his hands from her shoulder, she felt it snake between them until it reached her core at the same time Oliver kissed her, swallowing her own moan.

Her world exploded as he sent her over the edge for the second time, once again screaming his name, his mouth silencing her. She bit his lip as he reached his own release with a guttural call of her name, pumping into her until they were both spent. He collapsed on her, the weight of him surprisingly wonderful, but he must have been concerned, because he was all too quickly pulling back, out of her. She was too tired to track his movements as he threw away the condom, before returning to her, laying his head on her stomach, his arms moving under her back, embracing her.

"That was even better than I imagined," Felicity said to the ceiling, her hands absent-mindedly scratching his hair, his neck, his back. "And I imagined it a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I never imagined it happening here though. In the office? Sure. At the foundry? Of course. But in Oliver Queen's bed? Even I couldn't imagine that."

She felt him laugh into her stomach as she rambled, causing her to lift her head to look down at him. His chin rested on her stomach, visible between the valley of her breasts. He was smiling up at her, silencing her with a raise of his eyebrow.

"I love you too, you know," she said, reaching out a hand to trace his brow, loving that he leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. His eyes opened lazily, the smile on his face mischievous as he slowly crawled up the bed until he was looking down into her eyes.

"I might have had an idea," he said, laughing against her mouth, "that maybe you had a little bit of a crush on me."

He silenced her protest with a kiss. And Felicity knew in that moment that even if loving him did destroy her, it would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end.
> 
> Thanks for reading/commenting/leaving kudos. I was pretty nervous about writing for a new fandom but the idea for this story refused to leave me until I wrote it down :)
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading!


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